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'We have the parts so we use them': Transgender couple who BOTH changed sex prepare to explain to their two children how their father gave birth while their mom provided the sperm. Dailymail online. Reino Unido. Versão para impressão Enviar por E-mail
Segunda, 11 Agosto 2014 22:50

Nick, 27, who takes on the role as their father, is actually their birth mother
    Bianca, 32 -  the woman they called mother - is actually their father
    The couple have two children -  Kai, now three, and Pax, almost one

    Still have original sex organs - cannot afford reconstructive surgery

 

A transgender couple are preparing to tell their children when they get get older that their father actually gave birth to them and the person that they call their mother is in fact their father.

Bianca and Nick Bowser are a happily married couple and live in Kentucky with their two young sons.

Nick, 27, was born a girl, called Nicole, but for the last seven years has lived as a man.

Bianca, 32, who is a drag artist, was born as a boy called Jason, and transitioned to live as a woman 11 years ago.


 

casal

 

A transgender couple are waiting for their children to get older before telling them that their father gave birth to them and the person

that they call their mother is actually a male. Pictured:  Nick Bowser, who gave birth to their two sons with his partner Bianca

 

Bianca said: 'The kids currently have no idea. It's not like strangers ever guess in restaurants or at the shops.

'I don't know when we will start to tell them, maybe when Kai is around six, but they will need to be old enough to understand.

'It is important they know because it's a big secret to keep from your children and if they found out another way they could hold huge resentment.

'But I don't worry about how they will react. We will not treat it as a 'bad' thing. And young kids are accepting and non-judgemental.'

She adds: 'Being transsexual doesn't define who we are , just as being black or white or skinny or fat doesn't define you either.'

Nick says he had always felt that he was different from a young age.


He says: 'I was born a girl, but I never felt female.

'I was a tomboy and wanted to dress in jeans and t-shirts. I came out as a lesbian when I was 17, but when I spoke to other lesbians they said they liked being a girl, whereas I hated it.

'My whole life I wanted to look like a boy.

'It was only when I was 20 that I found out about transgenderism and realised I'd been born in the wrong body.'

After that, Nick started living as a man and changed his name.

He told his parents four years ago and, although they took a while to get used to it, they are now fully accepting.

Bianca, who was born Jason, transitioned 13 years ago, and had breast augmentation in 2003, as well as laser hair-removal, but didn't need female hormones because she naturally looks and sounds feminine.

She says: 'I knew there was something different and effeminate about me. When I was 17 we had a school pageant and all the boys dressed in drag. I loved it.

'When I was 18 I started working as a drag act. I met lots of transgender entertainers and started transitioning myself.

The couple were both open to dating other transgender people and when they met in 2009, they hit it off immediately.

Nick says: 'We talked about having children quite early on in our relationship because Bianca was thinking about having genital reconstruction.'

While Nick and Bianca could have used a surrogate, they were reluctant because it's expensive.

Nick says: 'We have a healthy sex life and we wanted a biological child - this was the only way we could do it.'

Nick fell pregnant with Kai in 2010, but struggled to cope with living as a man with a baby bump.

He says: 'I didn't enjoy it. I'm a man and it's just not easy doing something so feminine, but I coped and we were both so happy when Kai came along.

'We always wanted Kai to have a sibling, and the second pregnancy was tough too. I had terrible morning sickness and I was really tired.

'When I had Kai I'd only recently transitioned, so I didn't look so manly and people just thought Bianca and I were lesbians.

'But, when I was a pregnant with Pax, people were really staring at me, which made me feel very self-conscious.

'I couldn't handle the whispering and pointing and by the time of the third trimester I couldn't leave the house.

'I only left for doctor's appointments. People are afraid of what they don't understand.

 

'It was a daily struggle. I hated the way my body was changing. It did not match my inner feelings.'

Unable to bear the thought of natural birth, Nick opted for caesarean. 'It cut out part of the very female process of giving birth.

'But It's all been worth it, regardless of how difficult it was.'

Bianca did not mind missing that part of being woman.

She says: 'I was very happy not to carry the children. It was great to get out of it - the inconvenience, the physical changes, the pain of birth.

Bianca says that although they dislike still having their biological genitalia, having sex has never been a problem.

'We have the parts so we will use them,' she says. 

'If we could change them we would, and they would be the other way around - but we cannot afford it and the children come first.'

Nick says: 'Kai always calls Bianca, Mum and me, Dad. 

'And Bianca is definitely the typically clucking and over protective mum - in that respect we certainly conform to the stereotypical parents.

'We'll tell the children the truth when it's the right time - we've got nothing to hide. 

'Our family and friends are really happy for us - not least our parents, because when we both came out as transgender they thought they wouldn't have grandchildren!'

The pair, who married in a quiet ceremony in November 2011, say they won't have any more children. But only because the two they already have are a handful.

'It's exhausting,' says Bianca, who still works as an entertainer, while Nick is a bar manager. 'But we love raising children.

'Having them is what I always wanted. I just didn't dream I would find anyone to do it with me.'